the silver ring thing...    Rod and Tod, Ned Flanders two kids, have grown up. Like all teenage kids, they’ve got spots and there’s a certain itchiness bugging them between their legs. Poor Ned is up the wall lately. Well, that was until he heard about the silver ring thing. You’d be forgiven for thinking that it’s something straight out of a Simpson’s episode, but it’s not. This ‘Fellowship of the Ring’ works along the lines of a quasi-religious organisation. Priest or shepherds are involved and they organise quite a few acts, too. This silver ring thing’s objectives are basically the following: For teenagers to keep their ‘virginity’ until they are married and to save it for the one person they have chosen to marry and be with for the rest of their lives. A promise in favour of sexual abstinence. And parent s give their children a silver ring as a sign of their commitment.
Keeping their "precious" safe is the mainstay of this shower of Gollums’ lives. And of course, when you offer up your "precious", it has to be to the person who is going to spend the rest of their life with you (maybe to make sure your "precious" is always at hand...) Don’t be too cocky about it, mind you. On that first occasion, you "lose something", so, be it on another level, you’re a bit of a Gollum when it comes to your "precious". That said, if you’re looking to get back that something you lost, the good folk over at the “The Silver Ring Thing” offer a second chance to those of you "sinners" who are looking for a second virginity.
This all sounds like a nonsense but The Silver Ring Thing is trying to make up ground for fundamentalist Christians in the USA, who have been living through their own particular crisis over the last few years. The Christian rock circuit has spiralled downhill with Christian bands’ notorious behaviour notably turning a blind eye to the ten commandments. U2 have gotten over their bout of "religious" flu and now sing in favour of brotherhood amongst all religions. Their biggest icon until quite recently, Brittany Spears, is now seen clambering out of taxi back seats with no knickers on. The consequences of the above? Thousands of youngsters proudly brandish their silver rings!
We are not anti-Yankee American bashers. It’s true that Americans do a lot of wrong and shitty things, but you can’t deny that no-one can come near their humour. Ladies and Gentlemen... The Silver Ring Thing!